Self-pity is the furthest thing from my mind. Part of me sees my W as a hurt, scared and confused little girl. I am not sure if this is the empathy she is looking for from me. Other times I see a woman who seems to be going through a loss of identity or MLC - Lost 35 lbs, new wardrobe(that happens when you drop a couple sizes), new body art without telling me or us going together, going out with friends partying, etc.
I realize I am only responsible for my happiness and the kids. I have no control over how the W feels. She may think she is pushing me away trying to make me decide on ending this M, but it will all come back to her. She needs to find her happiness and all decisions about our R are hers, she needs to own the decisions. I know where I stand in regards to our M. Our MC has said she has put up a defensive wall around herself in regards to me and does not see the changes in me. The MC says right now I'm in a damned if you do, damned if you don't sitch. So I just chug away and a majority of the time I feel good and confident. There are sometimes though I feel sad and the victim, but I allow those feelings to pass.
