"You need to start being MM, just MM. Be the person who YOU want to be. Don't automatically think about how what you are doing will make him feel or how he will react. It will take an effort at first as you are used to thinking of yourself as part of a unit but you MUST start doing this if you want to get past the hurt and become the woman you are meant to be!"
Ok, so today I called and spoke with MIL for a long time. Later in the evening a friend told me of a program that could come help cook, clean, bathe, etc. I asked my friends opinion of when I should tell him about this & she said to not overthink it (treat it like I would a neighbour with helpful information) & I called him on my way home. (trying to not automatically think of what he would think/feel/react of my call).
I called, no answer. He called back, shortly. He was not too receptive of my call. Did not like the idea and told me how his aunt will come help out & he will hire the female friend (does outside & household work for us/his mom) if needed, she is the one that has that investment house for sale he wants me to consider. He wanted off the phone as he said he was trying to still get a lot of things done, so I didn't press on (like I normally would have... dog with a bone 180)
1) Trying not to take it personally that he isn't asking for or requiring my help 2) I did my best, offering what I knew & thought could be of help 3) Not assuming that he doesn't want me involved, prefers I keep focused on the business
This is tough stuff... trying to get past the hurt and BE the woman I want to be.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
