afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

Has anybody on here been S but still living under the same roof, had the D complaint filed against you, Had a hearing to determine APL(alimony pendant lite or life-not sure) which is Money I must give to WAW until the D is final and still stayed under the same roof?

I know that was long but it is what I might be facing at months end.

Not really sure how to handle this if W stays after support hearing.

Is there anything I can do to relieve this anxiety?

She told me where she went over the weekend. It was with work people to a work function so I know OM wasn't there.

She didn't have to tell me and TBH I didn't really care.

She says she doesn't want to talk to me socially yet tells me where she went and we shoot the breeze about it. I normally try to end the conversation and go GAL.

When I go outside all I do is shake my head. This behavior is hard for me to understand I don't want mind read so I don't but this behavior baffles me.

I try to start some small talk sometimes and she responds but it feels like she doesn't want to continue so again I go away and GAL to not pressure a conversation out of her.

If W says she doesn't want to talk to me, I respect her wishes, Then she talks to me and I listen and if need be validate or empathize.

I have asked her why we cant talk and all she says is I will get the wrong idea and think we are getting back together. I say why cant we watch TV together and she says because it is not like it used to be. I fully understand that but if we watch TV together and talk about what we are watching or anything else unrelated to our sitch where is the issue? She says I know you, it won't be that way.

I validate her on that and just say ok well, the offer stands if you want to.

Is it conceited to think that my W is afraid to do these things(talk and watch TV or even church) because maybe I really have changed and these changes will stick? Maybe it is easier to avoid that scenario that way it doesn't muddy up her mind with doubt.

The last thing I want to do is sing my praises but I am proud that I have been through the storm and think I have made it out the other side a better man.

The only nagging feeling is that I still haven't done everything in my power to save my M.

Many friends and family have told me I have, but I need to know in my heart that I tried everything. When does this feeling subside?