New here - frozen in should I stay or should I go?

[Ben2010]

You are in the right place. And yes you are the minority here as far as which spouse seeks help on the forums. I would suggest you get both DB/DR books. Read them cover to cover before making any decisions. No one can change your feelings for your H but you. If you have already read the books what about the Five Love Languages?

I would guess that you havent read them based on what you are saying. Divorce is a last resort when you have tried everything already. I wouldnt say that you have tried everything. Those feelings can and will return.

"What stops me is how it might affect him and our children. Maybe everyone would be better off"

That is absolutely not true and Im sure you dont realy believe that. It would most likely devastate the whole family. In time you would probably regret doing it too. People can and do change, this site is full of great examples of it. There are women on this site that Im sure have been in your shoes and have come out of it. Im sure that a couple of them will chime in soon enough to give you some advice.