Possilble WAW

[Ben2010]

Dawgy;
Here's a heads-up. She will at times spew forth all sorts of hurtful lies, rewrite your past and say things that make you want to argue or reason with her. What you need is a thick spew jacket (mental image) to withstand this spewing. It'll be extremely difficult not to react. That's where the zen-like self-control is required. Just let these things slide off you like water off a duck. Practise phrases like, "I can see how you might feel that way", or "Wow, that must be very difficult" but don't start reasoning with her. She will not respond well to logic or reason - seriously!

I can tell you from experience that the zen-like self-control works like a charm. When she starts venting or yelling or accusing, you just remain calm and validate when you have the opportunity. Do not raise your voice at all. Dont say anything that disagrees with what she is saying. Do not ask if anything has changed in her mind. Do not start talking about the way you feel or problems you are having. Listen and STFU unless she asks you something. All of this will deescalate her and make it a much more pleasant conversation. She will run out of steam eventually.

If you want to see an example of it, look at my posting about what happened this past weekend in my sitch. It was some sort of miracle turnaround.