I guess Im on a roll here! I really have changed. After going rounds with XH, then XMil.... I have not ended my year long relationship with a man I thought was the one!
As it turned out, he is an abusive man. Verbally and Mentally. Given it was my first true relationship after my marriage, I guess it took me a while to see the true colors. I seriously got confused between the Dr. Jekyll./Mr. Hyde personality switch. And as it turned out the more solidified our relationship came the more controlling he tried to be. The more controlling he tried to be the more I stood my ground and wouldn't back down. And the more I stoop up for myself, the more vindictive he became with his demands, guilt trips and power trips.
I found a book Called "Why Does He do that" By Lundy Bancroft. It was given to me by a friend, and I can't tell you how much it helped me.. First seeing all these abusive signs from XH for many years! But an explanation in how he did it in such a way to make me feel absolutely nutts! Then the overt verbal and mental abuse Now XB was slowly, but steadily showing.
I do have a point dear DBers! Don't ever lose yourself after you work so damn hard to pull yourself from the ashes of the crap load your MLCer dumped on you! If you do build yourself up, even if you end up in a relationship that doesn't turn out too well, AT LEAST YOU LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LET IT GO AND MOVE ON IF IT'S NOT A HEALTHY SITUATION!
All in all, I guess I can thank XH's MLC /narcissism that taught me how to take care of myself!
