You are not being scorned. It's just that talking to you has no effect on your perspective for whatever reason.
Your hyper-focus on this issue and inability to see how unhealthy it is concerns me.
We have heard plenty about "those things of which we do not speak."
Has any of it changed your situation? Has there been a magic bullet? Do you have the power to fix this by going round and round, or, by doing anything?
No. No. And no.
Please, also refrain from defending yourself here. There is no need. Also, you only get to play the "poor scorned creepy me" pity card once.
So--Yes.
Talk about yourself as a person, not as a husband. WHO is "Grey"?
Have at it.
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?