Wanted to add that on the few occasions in the past four months that I have mentioned the d word, H looks pained and has said he's not even thinking about d, so I did bring it up tonight, because if he is saying I'm finished, let me go etc, then to me d, would be next (and, no this is definitely not what I want) he again said he hadn't really thought about d, u asked why, he said maybe because he didn't want to hurt me or doesn't want to be the bad guy, I know I've done a lot of damage
