Hi oad, You're not alone in the blame game. My W at first only heard from everyone that she was crazy to want to leave me. How I've been such a great H. Well, when they would say that she would get ANGRY and freeze them out, tell them to mind their own business. When they would say 'You need to be happy..", then she would gush and thank them for their support! They manipulate everyone and everything around them to justify what they are doing. Anyone who says that they may be wrong they run away from! I'm hearing about things as far back as 20 years ago that justify her actions today! They will think exactly the opposite from how you want them to as you are the bad guy, the M the cause of all that has ever gone wrong in their life.
Heck, I was "wrong" because I spent TOO MUCH time thinking of my family first! These aren't the real "reasons" they are doing anything. They will say and do whatever they need to to be able to justify why they are being selfish. Remember, they can't keep everyone in the dark forever. Once they get what they THINK they want and it turns out that it doesn't change how they "feel" they will either start to see the truth or keep coming up with a way to blame someone or something else. Sooner or later the truth will come out and the people who are so understanding now will start to see what is really happening. Until then all we can do is live with integrity and be the best men/women we can!
