Save me from myself, need true guidance.

[Corbean]

Well I understand now that nothing will ever be resolved between us until she is done with her A.

My question is, besides working on myself, what can I do to speed it along? Just be friendly, validating, and nice? I feel torn between that and just not talking to her at all unless it's about the kids. I know from spying in the past she's pretty hard up for this guy, but I'm trying to not focus on their R and focus on myself and my interactions with her. This really is tough, I've been looking into standing and it's pretty much show her unconditional love no matter what she's doing. This isn't what I have been doing at all, I've been bitter and angry. I'm a little lost honestly.