MM, I'm going to say this as gently as possible as I know you are still hurting. Stop thinking about how whatever you do ties into him. If your XSO were dead and gone and his mother had the same thing happen, would you make her some food and take it to her? If the answer is yes, then do it! Don't do it to impress him or her. Don't tell him you are doing it. Don't NOT do it because of what he MAY think. Learn to be YOURSELF, not part of him or a couple but who you are.
Yesterday was day 2 of my W no longer living with me. My MIL often makes extra food as she enjoys cooking and lives alone. She will call me or my W and tell us it was there and feel free to pick it up. Last night I got a call from her. She knows her D is no longer living with me but that I have our D14 with me. She let me know that she made some food and asked if I would like to pick it up today on my way home. Of course I was grateful and told her yes and thanks for thinking of us. I'm not thinking about what my W thinks about this as it isn't her concern. My MIL has been a part of my life for 25 years and I love her and she loves me. She is feeling a big loss right now as she has to see her grandkids and me go through the pain she went through when her H left her. I'm not thinking about what my W might think of this or not. It's between my MIL and me. Last weekend when my W was away visiting her father, my MIL called me to ask for my help as her mothers bed at the home she is living at broke and she couldn't fix it herself. Of course I went and helped her and her GM. Not once thinking of how my W may react or not. I did it because I care about these people and they are a part of MY life, whether my W and I are together or not.
You need to start being MM, just MM. Be the person who YOU want to be. Don't automatically think about how what you are doing will make him feel or how he will react. It will take an effort at first as you are used to thinking of yourself as part of a unit but you MUST start doing this if you want to get past the hurt and become the woman you are meant to be!
