too little, too late

[lost18]

Thanks T, always like when someone checks on me. Thought today I would lay it out a little different.

Things that are positive
1. I have been looking at my part of the failure in my M, have been working on what I can with regards to that. (house work, yard work, etc) I also recognize I have a long way to go.
2. Have been exercising more.
3. Even tho I still need to do more, I have been GALing. Spending time with friends etc.
4. Have bought some new clothes
5. New haircut and highlights
6. Finally bought a new couch
7. Spending more time with my daughters
8. I have done a pretty good job following Sandi's rules (some of that is easy for me since he is working overseas)
9. I have been seeing an IC and working on myself.
10.Although I am working on my issues that caused my M to fail, I also realize that is not ALL MY FAULT.
11. Was able to do a 180 and made a decision on carpet for D12s room, already purchased, just need to wait on delivery to schedule install.
12. Have stopped obsessing (most of the time) about possible OW.


Things to work on
1. Detaching, better but still a long way to go.
2. Analyzing every interaction I have with H. Probably goes along with detaching.
3. Spending less time on the computer.
4. Making a to do list, and actually doing it.
5. Focusing more on getting things done around the house, would help if I spent less time on the computer.
6. Eating healthy, have not lost any weight.
7. Better sleep schedule.
8. Work on resume and get a job! BIG ONE after vacation!
9. Not focusing on the what if's and should haves
10. MONEY MANAGEMENT!

Things that may be positives in R
1. After stating he wanted a D and the "ILYBNILWY" he has not taken any action to move toward D.
2. Has not brought up telling the kids although school has been out for a month.
3. Although he has only initiated contact a couple times, when I ask him to call he always responds.
4. We have had conversations that have nothing to do with "business"
5. He has kept the conversation going a couple of times.
6. He is going on vacation with us.
7. He has bought things for the family.
8. It was his idea to replace the carpet in D12s room.
9. He has told me about an issue he is having and how that may affect the future.

Things that are not positive in R
1. We will go days without any contact.
2. Most contact is initiated by me.
3. He did not respond to text when I wished him Happy Fathers Day, or birthday.
4. There has been no R discussion.
5. He changed his facebook status to single.
6. He has not been online (skype) at all since BD.
7. He is very stubborn.

Interesting that I have listed more positives than negatives. Especially since I haven't been feeling very positive lately. It doesn't even matter that some of the positives are just little things. Baby steps right!