Good question! I am leaning towards not saying anything and continue detachment! She has called me a few times today. wanting to talk t-ball. didn't bring up last night. I cut conversation short, talked t ball game and that was it. she asked what I was doing and I said working on some projects. . polite but hung up first.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
It really hard to want to be around wife when she's acting like she is already single, dropping kids off at camps every day, or going to pool,sharing absolutely nothing about her job search and treating me like I am not even there or revelant. What would Mr bond do in this sitch.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Why dont you just tell her? Say "If you want this D, then there will be no family activities together, no vacations, no lunches, no holidays together, no talking on the phone, none of that Sh*t." I told my W as soon as we separated that we would not be friends of any kind. Said that I would rather not have her at all than to just be friends. She of course didnt like that and asked why. I just said that I wasnt going to put myself through that. Just my 2 cents. Im sure a vet will come and dispute what Im saying.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
Crazy night- I was putting twins to bed and wife cam in. gave the boys a hug told them she loved them and left room with out saying good night to me. This irritated me after helping her with kids late afternoon on short notice, cleaning the kitchen etc.. I went into her room and told her nicely that if she was going to act like that towards me in front of the boys then to just quit talking to me period. I then went to my room to read. she came in and apologized. She apologized for staying out late the night before. I told her she didn't need to apologize it was her life and she could live it how ever she wanted. She asked if she could give me a hug. I asked what for what? it was necessary! She left kind of quietly. I went into say good night to daughter and wife was in room I layed in bed and watched some tv with them gave daughter a hug. gave wife a rub on shoulder and went to bd. got up today and wife was up early thanked me for cleaning kitchen, we talked about this weekend . she brought up going to my nieces graduation party Saturday and said she wanted to go. so we had small talk all good. going to keep conversations going without getting into R talk.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Why dont you just tell her? Say "If you want this D, then there will be no family activities together, no vacations, no lunches, no holidays together, no talking on the phone, none of that Sh*t." I told my W as soon as we separated that we would not be friends of any kind. Said that I would rather not have her at all than to just be friends. She of course didnt like that and asked why. I just said that I wasnt going to put myself through that. Just my 2 cents. Im sure a vet will come and dispute what Im saying.
How does that help your children?
This sounds like the emotional response of an adolescent-which most of us are stuck in when we come here, so don't take it personally. We stomp our foot, with hands on hips and say, "If I can't have what I want, then everyone suffers!"
If you can't do those things with you W, then don't but be honest with yourself about why you can't.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
