GoatGal so much of what you said rings true for me and I really have to live by your advice. I do subconsciously hang on to every little crumb of hope he feeds me. I respond to him based on his mood or actions on a given day and I have to stop doing that. I have to stop following his lead. As strong as I am and don't confront him or show anger or hate, I need to show more distance and ambivalence. I need to stop being so passive (which is the polar opposite of my personality) sending the message as if what he's doing is okay. I need to set boundaries and stick to them. That's all the things I've been struggling with. Because I've always been the leader in our family and that is one of the things he brought up to me (that I'm too independant for him) I'm trying now to sit back and let him be him. But after reading your advice it's made me realize that by doing that I basically acting as if it's okay that he's having an A. After all, he knows I know yet I'm not doing anything about it.
Me: 35, H: 36, M: 6, S: 1, D: 3, BD: 4/21/14 H still living at home
