#32: My Power & Detachment: Letting go/BLESSED!!

[makingmagic]

Gabby, I am sure its to be expected from most who post on here. Not knowing how to respond in this kind of situation after so many years. The attachment for the extended family members are still there. Navigating through the FIRST occurrence, much like the FIRST holidays are challenging.

Yes, I expected to be reported too. I posted in here because I was venting. I worked hard on processing through it. You guys could see that I was struggling. I did not want to disregard & dismiss my true feelings.

I see how I was behaving poorly in HERE. However, I am kind of proud of how I reacted OUT THERE (Him). I know I still have work to do, but this is still keeping in line with exercising my power & not giving it away. Like I said, normally I would have asked 100 questions & persisted to be kept in the loop. I did not. I took the time/space to not act on my "feelings".

Yes, I did on this site because I was posting my honest feelings. I am very bothered. It hurts that he did not feel obligated to me to keep me informed. Its just another level of him letting go & that sux. I hate the feeling & watching him step away inch by inch (the slow version). My ex-h was fast... DONE immediately & never looked back.

Up & coming issue: Do I take MIL some food? (Honest answers below)

1) Yes, of course.... its the right thing to do
2) No, you are trying to impress him


If I choose #1, then I have fears of behaving like "I SHOULD", like he would "expect" me to behave, as a good little wifey & still under his command. (pat good doggy on the head). MM is still "there" for him!

If I choose #2, its possible that I am also doing so because I want to remain in his good books.

As a person who is letting go, It shouldn't matter what "HE" thinks & whether he is right or wrong (as in #1). I fear that he would think I am just trying to do right in his eyes. As a person who is dropping the rope, I shouldn't be concerned about what he thinks and do what I want!!!

I am still trying to decide which of the 2 options is my real truth. Although I automatically wanted to make some food when I first realized she wouldn't be able to walk much. I know its a nice guesture & I am a person who does good things.

If I do bring food, I will bring it directly to her & not comment to him about it.