T, When the mlcer begins to make their way back to the spouse and the relationship, it is a very slow process and it doesn't happen over night, i.e., just as they went into the crisis in a very slow way. Wonka says it best, i.e., "dribbles".
She's not going to be able to answer your questions for many months after she returns because she will still be fragile and learning to live in her new skin. As others have pointed out, the lbs is miles ahead of the MLCer in growth, which means she's got a lot of catching up to do and she will do it if she wants back into the relationship and in your heart. This is world patience will come into play more than ever.
T, I kid you not, reconciliation is the hardest part of the journey because both of you have taken different paths during the crisis and now must come together and learn how to live as a couple once again. It's starting over fresh and just like any new couple, it takes time.
So, drink another cup of coffee and mull those thoughts over...but remember, it will take 18-24 months after she's moved back home for things to truly settle down. There will be days when there is confusion, ups and downs, and yes, second thoughts...but the bottom line is this...both of you will still have much work to do that will require patience and little or n no expectations.
BTW, when she comes through her crisis, she will not have another one. The only time a person goes through a second one is if they have been snatched out of the crisis that they are experiencing or it's been interrupted by something going on in their lives...so, do not be afraid that she will have another one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
