I think it's fantastic that you waited on the calls.
Not to be some ignorant jerk, but just to teach yourself patience, and that you can be in control of some situations.
Your W is obviously jealous - my W had an EA, and told me how wonderful her life was, and how great OM was, culminating in a one-night stand; then when I detached and basically ignored her, she came back, dropped OM, talked about how disgusting and humiliating it was that she had ever been with him, and she never spoke to him again. Later on, she told me it was totally unsatisfying sex, and that it just made her feel dirty and awful and used.
I can't say that's your exact scenario, but I do know that there is a significant power in saying, "I will be treated as a husband, and no less." Now, you MUST be an H in every sense of the word - maybe not romantically and physically right now, but don't you dare try to set a boundary, and not exemplify to your W the man you are trying to be!
