Phoenix slowly rising

[T-boned]

Look out, here it comes.

Last night I had a really good journal entry going and my computer connection at the hotel went out just as I hit Submit . I was too tired to try and recreate it - oh well. But it wasn't this!!

Today I got angry with my H and how he has handled this whole thing. Finally, some anger! Just got to thinking how maddening it is to see people 'gush' about what a great guy he is, blah, blah, blah, and how he says he is a good person. Well 'great' guys/good people don't do what he has done to their wives. They don't walk out without having communicated to their spouse for years that they were not happy. They don't lie or live a lie to keep the spouse from being hurt because they'd know it hurts a whole lot more the other way around. They don't act like you don't even exist, and they would have a whole lot more respect for the person they've built a life with for 20+ years by being open and honest.

I say no, he is not a good or great guy right now. And I'm really disappointed that none of his friends or family, to my knowledge, have taken him aside and pointed out what a selfish immature person he is being.

Sorry, I'm just so angry right now and sick of how everyone is so afraid to lose their friendship with him because he is so 'fun' to be with. What happened to having friends with dignity and morals. It's like he's this fraternity brother that everyone has fun with and doesn't want to give it up. Gawd, he's so charming - you all would probably fall for it too if you met him. Guess they don't know he uses people until he gets nothing in return. Then you get dumped. You only get his friendship only if he needs you.

Wow, quite the spew for me. I was wondering when the anger part of rebuilding was going to kick in. Now what I do with that anger is the important part. May help with that final sliver of the detachment tendon I haven't been able to cut.