I firmly believe my H is a porn addict, or at least a man with a VERY unhealthy attachment to it.
It has negatively affected our sex life over the years, no doubt about it.
Got to the point where he basically couldn't perform at all unless there were certain "conditions". And let's just leave it at: They were "conditions" with which I was no longer comfortable.
Porn masquerades as something exciting, a substitute for intimacy. FYI: I'm no prude and I've viewed my fair share over the years. I never felt this way until I realized what I price I had paid for my "open-mindedness."
But I see now how it has ruined my H sexually and was partially responsible for destroying what could have been a much better M. IT was, more than the OW, THE reason he filed for divorce. I wouldn't let it go and that's fine because I'm not willing to live with it any more.
I've learned about the human trafficking, drugs, abuse, gangs, underage performers, STDs, the exploitation of the people involved.
How, in the end, it really just reduces the people involved to nothing more than a collection of eager orifices and shafts with no needs or personalities of their own.
Viewing too much of this stuff screws up your brain for being with a real woman, because what is it telling you?
Who can compete with that?
The women pretend to enjoy things that most real women would not want to be doing in private, much less in front of a film crew.
There is no love, no intimacy, no vulnerability--in short, nothing that makes a good relationship good.
It's a lie, and it's destructive because it skews your senses and the chemicals released actually BOND you to the porn!
I belong to another board dedicated to overcoming porn addiction (as a spouse). The stories there are heartbreaking, from the spouses as well as the self-identified addicts.
Some of these guys can't go 24 hours... and struggle EVERY DAY. They are lost. Since the internet came on the scene, it's become an epidemic.
And I know that my H's problem escalated MASSIVELY with 24/7 access. It even led to his infidelity in real life...until she dumped him, probably disgusted too.
So now he's alone with his computer, which, from what he says, is exactly what he wants.
Sorry, I realize I'm ranting. I will now step down off my soap box and slink away to heat up a can of Campbell's Tomato Soup...
Just---be careful, will ya?
--GG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
