I think I should stress that your M is NOT sex-starved. You haven't had sex in a couple of weeks and you think it's the end of the world. Rather than working on her needs right now, you're just thinking of your own. I'm sure the health scare for her is more important than you getting your rocks off.
That's what everyone has been stressing to you. That M is for "in sickness and health". She's dealing with alot right now and you don't want to.
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Rather than working on her needs right now...
This is the part that bothers me. Nobody is listening to that part. I work on her needs. I do. Her needs are met. She IS happy. I HAVE changed. I was good before, now I'm even better AND I don't bring up my needs, no matter how bad they hurt.
Most of the time, I have been able to change myself to want less sex. But sometimes, there it is, whether I want to feel bad or not, and I can't help it. How can I meet her needs when she's asleep and I can't sleep, for example? It's not like I don't try to do other things, or that I'm asking for a magic pill to make her want sex again,
And by Michele's very definition, yes, the marriage is sex-starved (not to mention it's been more than a couple of weeks, but I understand the frustration with the people who have waited years being unhappy). By Michele's definition a sexless marriage is one where sex is an average of less than 10 times a year, and I am hurt by the lack of physical affection we had last October. Same for women, right? Starving children in Somalia doesn't mean I don't or can't hurt from not being wanted, know what I mean? I know people have it worse, just as much as I hope this can be better.
So you've got experience, but you also weren't meeting your wife's needs it sounded like before. What did you do when you DID feel bad, in a way that my wife doesn't feel and wouldn't want me to feel? You worked on meeting your wife's needs, correct? Are there or were there any times where you WANTED or NEEDED anything, anything at all, but you were only focusing on your wife's needs and, if so, what did you do at those times and for how long? When I'm up at night and all of a sudden I feel alone, what would you suggest I should do?
