She says she's conflicted

[25yearsmlc]

I have the OM's telephone number.

I am so tempted to call him and tell him everything ....everything she lies to him about!

GO to some other site b/c THIS SITE IS DIVORCE BUSTING and you are clearly NOT following the advice given here or the books.

YOU just said you have to "stop THINKING about OM" and here you are, AGAIN trying to manipulate outcomes and that means you are still into the whole controlling thing...

Have you actually read any of the DIVORCE BUSTING books?

READ THEM AND DO WHAT WORKS...stop mixing up approaches b/c that does a disservice to all of them.

nothing you have done, has gotten your wife to return for good. STOP focussing on her or OM and focus only on you...good grief this is frustrating.

You keep deflecting off of yourself. What are YOU DOING, TO BECOME A BETTER MAN? You know, the whole "become a man only a fool would leave",

and btw, that is about YOU, not her!

You have your own issues (for the life of me, I must be the only one to have read your whole thread ---it is long).

But you have been physically rough with her, you do a TON of scorekeeping, which you forget that she does as well and on HER scorecard you are not ahead, and your own son expected your marriage to fail.

What is DIFFERENT about how YOU behave now?

Why won't your wife fear that if she returns to the m, you'll be just like you have been in the past--

but worse, b/c you'll keep obsessing and TALKING about the R and blaming...??

If I were contemplating leaving a man with your control issues/lack thereof, my biggest fear would be a reversion to exactly how it was before the BD.

You give her ammo every day that you will indeed make this all about how great YOU were as a h (as if all of the problems began with OM, which is a lie)

and how the OM is a POS. What good has that done, YOU? Sure, it keeps you from looking in the mirror but if you'd spent half your energy on your own self improvement that you spend blasting OM, you'd be a lot farther in this process.

The more you try to corner her, the faster she'll want to run. I don't see the cake eating so much as a toxic dynamic all the way around.

You control you, and then the dynamic might change.