Old dog seeks new trick

[MrBond]

"Some of us are just built differently MrBond. It may be a confidence thing, it may be fear, it may be all kinds of things, but it just doesn't happen."

Of course it doesn't "just happen". But that's what you've been waiting for. You've just been waiting to just happen. But the issue is that you've had TONS of warnings that this would happen and you could have done something just as easily as writing down a list You say you're not lazy because you are active. Again, you're only active in the things that you are interested in or that are important to you.

Your M wasn't/isn't important to you so you don't do anything. IT IS as simple as that.

"I don't know if my marriage can be saved even when I do turn my stuff around."

You're saying this as an excuse to not even try. You really don't seem to care.

"I'm writing down what I need to do and I'm doing it. This is one of those things. Small steps, but it's a start."

Not enough. Talking about it gets you nowhere.

"It's hard to forgive yourself when you've done something so mindnumbingly stupid. But my wife says, we did what we could at the time with what we knew. She's not perfect either."

Wow pretty condescending. That last sentence is where you are still putting the blame on her. Let's face it. She told you time and time again what you needed to do and you didn't. End of story. Start taking responsibility and man up.

"In days gone by I would have gone all passive aggressive on you like I did at school - '**** you I won't do what you tell me'."

Boy I sure am lucky you're not like that. You did that because you were lazy and thought you knew better than anyone else. That doesn't make the problem magically go away.

"I can recognise that in me now and reject it. It didn't do me any favours then and it won't do now."

So what are you actually going TO DO?