She says she's conflicted

[Oxford1]

I have to focus on all the info I have been given. I need to work on us and as you say all these distractions make my head spin.

[RedHawk98]

I thought I had troubles!

What is CV and TAM?
What is your relationship with the person who exposed your wife? Do you have their name and personal details?

Legal proceedings might be a possibility.
If it's an internet message board, and no hard proof exists on it. It's not exactly a credible source of information.

It's a question of damage control at the moment. Don't beat yourself up. Mistakes happen, sometimes they are out of our hands too.

[RedHawk98]

There are plenty of "Gagging Orders" in operation. Even when it is the truth.
Ever hear "I'm not legally allowed to say anything on the matter?"

Usually amongst celebs, but I'm unsure of the law out there.

Personally, I don't believe 90% of what I see on the internet.

[Starsky309]

Consequences.

[Oxford1]

The biggest issue is how to handle what is going on in our marriage.

Even her attorney is now telling my attorney that my wife is so inconsistent it's nauseating


She basically said that she is still in a relationship with dirtbag, but that she is trying to work on our marriage. That we are seeing a PhD psychologist marriage counselor, but separately.
that she is a relationship coach at this point...

That she is not ready to leave me and she hopes to work on our marriage, but she is not ready to drop OM.

I think that her photo should be added next to the term CAKE-EATER

[Starsky309]

I think that her photo should be added next to the term CAKE-EATER

And yours should be added next to the term "PASSIVE, FEARFUL ENABLER." So what's your point?


Seriously, if she's this messed up, you need to be asking yourself why you even want her. That says more about you than it does about her at this point, I'm afraid.


Starsky

[RedHawk98]

Ok, I've been through your story and I've face palmed myself so much I might have a black eye tomorrow.

We've all done it at some stage, some longer than others. Myself included!

There's a fine line between Tough Love and Turning Nasty.
THINK about which camp your behaviour will fall in.
If you bottle this resentment up by trying to please her, you'll snap like I did and do things that are more Turning Nasty.

She is walking all over you at the moment.
Whenever she makes any remarks that are hurtful, do NOT react. Just calmly say "Was there any need for that?"

It worked every time for me. God knows why I didn't do it more often.

If she insists on spending time with the OM, do not react with anger. But refuse any attempts to work on the marriage until the OM is history.

Honestly man, the more calm and in control you make yourself, the less helpless you feel.
That is some essential stuff!
Makes you less likely to lash out and make the OM more appealing.

Who knows, after a while, you might even start to wonder if you can really tolerate this treatment anymore.

I do look back on my own separation at times and shake my head at how I allowed my WS to talk to me and treat me like she has.

[Oxford1]

I have the OM's telephone number.

I am so tempted to call him and tell him everything ....everything she lies to him about!

[zew]

Rip up the OM's number. It is of no use to you. Get back to work on you and your future.

Time wasted on OM is time that you will not enjoy, and will never get back.

[Oxford1]

Rip up the OM's number. It is of no use to you. Get back to work on you and your future.

Time wasted on OM is time that you will not enjoy, and will never get back.

Thanks..