She says she's conflicted

[RedHawk98]

Ok, I've been through your story and I've face palmed myself so much I might have a black eye tomorrow.

We've all done it at some stage, some longer than others. Myself included!

There's a fine line between Tough Love and Turning Nasty.
THINK about which camp your behaviour will fall in.
If you bottle this resentment up by trying to please her, you'll snap like I did and do things that are more Turning Nasty.

She is walking all over you at the moment.
Whenever she makes any remarks that are hurtful, do NOT react. Just calmly say "Was there any need for that?"

It worked every time for me. God knows why I didn't do it more often.

If she insists on spending time with the OM, do not react with anger. But refuse any attempts to work on the marriage until the OM is history.

Honestly man, the more calm and in control you make yourself, the less helpless you feel.
That is some essential stuff!
Makes you less likely to lash out and make the OM more appealing.

Who knows, after a while, you might even start to wonder if you can really tolerate this treatment anymore.

I do look back on my own separation at times and shake my head at how I allowed my WS to talk to me and treat me like she has.