W phoned an hour ago. I didn't answer and she didn't leave a message. Fine by me.
I figure she wants money. Four days into her 2 week vacation, and she'll be tapped out tomorrow. And she's 900 miles away, with no gas money to get home and I don't have to answer the phone. I don't have to rescue her. And I don't even want to. I just don't have to answer the phone at all again ever, do I.
And I would so like to tell her to ask OM for money or maybe the posse can help out, but that wouldn't be keeping the road paved, would it. Who is she to me to ask for money? Maybe the road home should be treacherous and steep. I want to ask her where her home even is. She is oblivious to how tenuous her entire lifestyle is.
OK, enough of this wallowing.
This physical separation is good. There are no eggshells in the house. I don't have to listen to her lies or have PMA in the face of her hostility. I realize now how stressful that's been. I eat stress for snacks as a matter of course, but it's not until it's gone that you realize it was there. I do miss the kids though.
I'm still preparing. I closed an old brokerage account last week, applied for car refinancing yesterday, have a couple more things to do this week. Like get my bail money back. Words I never thought I'd say. Have to setup appointment with L this week. I want to have all D paperwork in place and ready to go at the drop of a hat so I can make an irrational emotional decision on the spur of the moment.
And I have a nice wine dinner too this week, if I can still get my reservation in first thing tomorrow. That moves to top of the list.
And I would so like to tell her to ask OM for money or maybe the posse can help out, but that wouldn't be keeping the road paved, would it. Who is she to me to ask for money? Maybe the road home should be treacherous and steep. I want to ask her where her home even is. She is oblivious to how tenuous her entire lifestyle is.
You and I think alike. When my W called me to ask for money for her bills, I wanted to say ask OM, after all he is the one you turned to. See how great he is when you expect him to support your lifestyle. However, yea, we dont say that. Sometimes it is nice to have the ability to control our inner monologue
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
W just called again, and again I felt no need to answer the phone.
I dug through stacks of mail in W's office yesterday, most of it unopened statements from banks I've never heard of. Found 4 more cards in arrears. That makes about 6 or 7 cards she has opened in the last 5 years, run up debt and then gone to collections. And then she just ignores the mail they send her. Never told me about any of it. L says no way I'll be held responsible for it. She has a spending addiction. Whenever I have brought up the subject, she gets ultra defensive and tries to turn it on me, or says she has to buy food and clothes for kids.
This is something she is going to have to own and fix at some point in her life and she doesn't even recognize it as a problem yet.
S9 emailed me some nice pictures of the water park. They are having fun.
Dammit - waiting list for wine dinner. But a couple of my staff from overseas are in town for the week, so I'll take them out for some fun one night.
W called as I was driving in to work. This time I answered. She just asked how I was doing, how the dog was doing. Mentioned that she had called a few times and couldn't get hold of me. I gave one word answers to everything and didn't engage in anything.
I know it came off a little cold, because she ended with "Well, ok then..." in a tone that showed a little frustration.
I find it hard to put any sincerity in anything she says -- why ask me how I am when you spent all day yesterday texting and calling your boyfriend? How the hell do you think I am? She knows how I feel and she's just killing me.
Amazingly, she didn't ask for money, and I know she's hit her card limit again.
I find myself being extremely angry with her right now; in full victim mode. I find myself wanting to pack up her crap while she's gone and putting it in the garage. List the house and move on. Don't come back because you've no home here.
I seem to be having a giant lapse in detachment, maybe because the house is empty.
D13 called last night. She sounded very tired, so I know the kids had fun at the water park. They're all leaving there this morning, and will be going back to spend the next two weeks with MIL/SIL. Everyone will be on eggshells.
W called as I was driving in to work. This time I answered. She just asked how I was doing, how the dog was doing. Mentioned that she had called a few times and couldn't get hold of me. I gave one word answers to everything and didn't engage in anything.
I know it came off a little cold, because she ended with "Well, ok then..." in a tone that showed a little frustration.
No no no no. Come across as happy and upbeat as if you have already moved on and your life is perfect. Being cold is not going to win your wife's heart back. I know it can be confusing how to communicate when you are being LRT. In text messages you can be short. When she calls, be happy and positive, as if you would when face to face. Do not go into details, but when she says she called and could not get ahold of you, say something like "Yea, I saw where I missed your calls. I have been so busy with work and friends it slipped my mind to call you back." Or something like that. It makes you mysterious and makes her realize you are not obsessing over her.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
W called as I was driving in to work. This time I answered. She just asked how I was doing, how the dog was doing. Mentioned that she had called a few times and couldn't get hold of me. I gave one word answers to everything and didn't engage in anything.
I know it came off a little cold, because she ended with "Well, ok then..." in a tone that showed a little frustration.
No no no no. Come across as happy and upbeat as if you have already moved on and your life is perfect. Being cold is not going to win your wife's heart back. I know it can be confusing how to communicate when you are being LRT. In text messages you can be short. When she calls, be happy and positive, as if you would when face to face. Do not go into details, but when she says she called and could not get ahold of you, say something like "Yea, I saw where I missed your calls. I have been so busy with work and friends it slipped my mind to call you back." Or something like that. It makes you mysterious and makes her realize you are not obsessing over her.
Zew, this ^^^^^. It's the whole "the best revenge is a life well-lived" thing.
C'mon, you're better than that. Do NOT come across to her as pining or pissy. You are THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD, scaling mountains, saving babies from burning buildings and meeting other incredibly attractive, interesting people, remember???
She just posted a picture of herself in a bathing suit on facebook, and among the people who "liked" it are several members of the posse, and one guy she was chasing but never hooked up with.
And the "friend requests" buttons are right there, and I want to just hit them all.
Stop following her on Facebook like a lost puppy, Zew! C'mon!!!
Don't MAKE me come up their and kick your azz.
Don't you have some tacky velour Elvis or "dogs playing cards" you need to put up on your living room wall or something? Or a drum set to put in the formal dining room, where the table used to be???
But a couple of my staff from overseas are in town for the week, so I'll take them out for some fun one night.
