I guess your right barry.. ill leave tonight I guess.. one more thing.. why do I feel there may be a case of infidelity I read so much on the internet and it goes towards infidelity..
Yesterday she said shes seeing her friend maria on wednesday but later said it was a guy.. i said ok i thought u were seeing maria.. but then she said it was a councellor and i asked a few questions about it and she got angry and said im always trying to make it about me.. later i asked why she said it was a guy and she paused for a few moments and said that she only said a guy to see my reaction and she also said that I should have just said ok well enjoy yourself.. why should it be a problem even if I did see a guy these things shouldnt affect you.. I said your right it shouldnt.. but why would she have paused?
1wish, I really hope that one day you will decide you are deserving of a more peaceful existence and decide to do the work you need to do to get there. We've spelled it out for you. Your W is spelling it out for you! Now it is your turn to decide that you are capable and worthy of change.
If we say yes how does that change your attitude towards W and M?
If it is a deal breaker for you will you forget about trying to do the work to better yourself?
If it isn't a deal breaker you have to let it go. It is her journey and she must complete it and you have to allow her to do so.
A very respected veteran told me how to get over the possibility of an A.
He said think of the worst case scenario that could be happening in an A. Let yourself feel that pain for a little bit a day or two.
Then pick up yourself up and realize you didn't have anything to do with her choice to stray and have an A. It is her choice and it is also your choice to handle it however YOU feel is correct.
Life is a bunch of choices, just remember with choices come consequences, good ones and bad ones.
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
"I would have thought this is the point I should go on the LRT as we are now on trial seperation.."
Why don't you go ahead and file for D yourself? I mean you don't even put in the effort to read the book.
"I really want some advice wether I should leave today or leave when she tells me to."
Start being a man and make the decision already. Everyone gave you their opinions but you're too scared to do anything. You don't want to do any work. You expect to be just spoon fed everything and not take responsibility for anything.
"It would force me to let her go.. I cannot be with a cheater."
And yet you expect her to stay with you? I say another man right now would be a better option until you start growing up. Now you're thinking if there's infidelity? I will tell you something very clearly. If there is infidelity, it is YOUR FAULT.
It's very obvious.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Listen to mrbond and man up! It may not be easy to hear him say or actually do, but he knows what he's talking about. I remember being in your very same spot as most on here have been. It [censored], but you need to start taking the advise you have been given or just throw in the towel now. Trust me, I did the same thing and didn't listen to the great advise I was given. Only when I finally did things turned around.
separated since 9/01/13 M-31 W-36 D-4 Move back home 12/26/13 3 months of tough times Finally in a happy M
"I would have thought this is the point I should go on the LRT as we are now on trial seperation.."
Why don't you go ahead and file for D yourself? I mean you don't even put in the effort to read the book.
"I really want some advice wether I should leave today or leave when she tells me to."
Start being a man and make the decision already. Everyone gave you their opinions but you're too scared to do anything. You don't want to do any work. You expect to be just spoon fed everything and not take responsibility for anything.
"It would force me to let her go.. I cannot be with a cheater."
And yet you expect her to stay with you? I say another man right now would be a better option until you start growing up. Now you're thinking if there's infidelity? I will tell you something very clearly. If there is infidelity, it is YOUR FAULT.
It's very obvious.
When you say very obvious do you mean that she is cheating?
As ive heard that if a spouse is cheating there is nothing you can do until the affair ends which it does after the honeymoon period. But I wouldnt want to be with someone thats had an affair.. do it once you can do it over and over again..
Yes if there is infidelity then yes it is my fault due to the neglection and annoying behaviour but are you referring to obvious as she IS having an affair?
I will say this as plainly as I can and this will be the ONLY time I say this.
STOP OBSESSING ABOUT A POSSIBLE AFFAIR!
"When you say very obvious do you mean that she is cheating?"
No I mean it's obvious that if she ends up having an A that it is your fault. Your insecurities are pushing her to another man who is more stable. It was OBVIOUS because she was driven to get advice from the married guy because he's stable unlike you. And let me stress that...she was only getting ADVICE and that it wasn't an A. You just couldn't even handle that.
"As ive heard that if a spouse is cheating there is nothing you can do until the affair ends which it does after the honeymoon period. But I wouldnt want to be with someone thats had an affair.. do it once you can do it over and over again.."
That's total nonsense. Right now I don't have respect for you same as your W because you won't read the book, won't go to meditation to quiet your mind and are acting like an immature, insecure child. Simple as that.
"Yes if there is infidelity then yes it is my fault due to the neglection and annoying behaviour but are you referring to obvious as she IS having an affair?"
Why do you keep asking?! And I say it again, I think it might be good for her to actually get an affair because it might help you grow up.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
