Wow Thor you are mindreading like crazy. That needs to stop stat. I can almost guarantee you have no idea what she's thinking because she probably doesn't half the time. What you need to work on is yourself and what YOU are thinking.
Why is it you feel like you were used or a sucker for having hope? Isn't love doing things for someone and being there for them unconditionally? Yeah it stinks that she went off the reserve here but at the end of the day she doesn't owe you anything and you have to stop thinking that way. I used to think the same exact way and it will never get you anywhere.
I also don't think it's time to be worried about if you can ever trust her again or things like that. That will all work itself out one way or the other with time. Right now you need to get back to center and get back to working on you. Concentrate on you and your D14.
Have you set up any new activities or plans with friends? What new book are you reading/ listening too? We've all had that lonely feeling when we come home but the only way to get over that is to have something going on to stop that ugly thinking.
Don't stop the progress you were making by thinking about her with every thought again. These texts seem to have you spinning a bit. I'm all for being friendly as long as it doesn't get you turned around and let you get stuck inside your own head.
Stay strong and on your path brother.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
