Hi T2, I've been wondering about that talk she wanted to have and have been checking to see for the last week! Just like an MLCer. What ever she "felt" when she said that probably isn't at all what she "feels" now. Probably couldn't tell you what was on her mind when she said it to save her life! I also have found that my D19 and I have become much closer now after a very rebellious period from 15-17. She doesn't understand her mom or maybe she does better than I think as she has said that her mom's acting like she's 15 years old. "I wanted to run away when I was 15. I got over it!" was the best thing she has said to date.
My W left for good yesterday. She's moved into her new place 26 miles away. So ends 25 years together and she acted like it was nothing. No emotion, just like she would be back later. See me next Saturday when she comes to pick up more "stuff". She is almost in a daze when around me. When she does speak, she's being nicer than she has in a long time.
I'm praying for your W to come through her sitch and realize just what it means to lose you and break up the family. I really think she just is lost and really needs to find her way back. Good luck and enjoy that busy life!
My, my...it's good to hear from one of my two crushes!
The backpacking trip sounds awesome and a lot of fun! Brings back fond memories of backpacking and caving in my youth. And those wicked small black bats in those caves!
Yep. Job's right about MLCers being wont to make decisions. To us, 'deadlines' are pressure too. Just no way to get around that illusive mirage...that's that.
Keep going...aren't you in a band now? How's that going?
I'm sorry W moved out Matt, it [censored], but I bet you will find a huge change in the house vibe...when my W moved out the tension, anxiety and negativity followed her right out the door. The kids even noticed it.
My W is farther along the tunnel trip than yours is, it feels like she is climbing out and has some clarity, but I don't know what is on her mind, lol....but whatever she decides about her future and if it includes me or not will be made from a calmer, more stable place. And that was one of my goals, to last long enough until she stabilized. From there, who knows?
Important thing is that I accept her as she is now, whatever that means for the future. No anger, just acceptance, compassion and foregiveness.
Last edited by TSquared2; 06/23/1407:41 PM.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Thanks T2, I was hoping to do the same, last until things stabilize and I may have if things hadn't sped up a few weeks ago.
I'm working on that acceptance, compassion and forgiveness and was almost there when things changed so much so fast when her father's cancer was found to be back. Drove her right back into her tunnel, only deeper. Most of the time I do feel those things but then something happens and I get the old, destructive anger back. Happening less and less now and I think my D19 coming home will help keep my mind on the important stuff. Thanks again T2!
Wow TS2. I have only popped in from time to time dealing with my own madness ...
Good to hear that you are doing well.
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
My W is farther along the tunnel trip than yours is, it feels like she is climbing out and has some clarity, but I don't know what is on her mind, lol....but whatever she decides about her future and if it includes me or not will be made from a calmer, more stable place. And that was one of my goals, to last long enough until she stabilized. From there, who knows?
Yep, glad you did that amigo. Sounds like is full! Very nice to hear.
I do wonder though. By the time your W decides what she wants to do, if you'll be around to hear it. I know you're in a good place and in a holding pattern while you wait. It's just that I wonder sometimes...I do know you'll be more than fine whichever way things go. That's clear and very welcome as well as inspiring.
Peace!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
