At this point, you need to do it for yourself to gain some self control. By now you should have read enough to know where you're going wrong and what you're supposed to be doing.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
Why does it sound like you are messing up left and right and she is still not sure? To me it sounds like if you were to do the right stuff this week alone, she would let you stay. I dunno maybe there is something that Im missing.
M:33 W:30 T:10 M:2 B/D: 5/27/14 S: 5/28/14 Wife moved back in 7/18/14
It is normal to let your emotions control your actions. DBing is about being abnormal. It is about being counterintuitive. In otherwords, every time you want to do something, do the opposite. Then you will be in a good place
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Its soo hard but I feel going on this space thing might be good for both of us.. but I dont know.
She says its harder to leave She says if she didnt have any feelings and it was easy she would rather leave She says she feels like a bird whos wings are about to die and if she doesnt take flight now she never will. Says she still loves me and finds me attractive.
Why does it sound like you are messing up left and right and she is still not sure? To me it sounds like if you were to do the right stuff this week alone, she would let you stay. I dunno maybe there is something that Im missing.
She doesnt want me to go because im doing wrong she says she wants some breathing space without me there to decide what she wants.. she wants to think clearly.. I dont know I really dont.. im so scared and my emotions are really starting to play about.. I am waaay too young to be going through this. This is messing up my life.. I cant believe whats happening.. so I really want oppinions if I should leave today or if I should leave when she expects me to which would be sunday..
". when I go im going to read the lrt and do that"
And who told you you're at the LRT when you haven't even read the book? Stop skipping around to the parts that you THINK apply to you and actually read the WHOLE thing. I don't know how much clearer anyone can be with you on this. The reason why you keep messing up is because you have NO PATIENCE. With you it's an all or nothing approach that keeps getting you in trouble.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
". when I go im going to read the lrt and do that"
And who told you you're at the LRT when you haven't even read the book? Stop skipping around to the parts that you THINK apply to you and actually read the WHOLE thing. I don't know how much clearer anyone can be with you on this. The reason why you keep messing up is because you have NO PATIENCE. With you it's an all or nothing approach that keeps getting you in trouble.
I would have thought this is the point I should go on the LRT as we are now on trial seperation.. I really want some advice wether I should leave today or leave when she tells me to.
If she wants space, let her leave. She is the WAW correct? Let her be free like she wants to be. She might find that whats out there isn't a better option.
While she goes work on yourself to become a man only a fool would leave.
Follow MrBond's advice read the whole book from start to finish if you have to read it again. And by all means learn Patience it will help you immensely not to react on emotions alone. You are the one who needs to do all the work at the moment. Once you read the book this will become clearer to you.
Good Luck and hang in there!!
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
One more thing, This trial separation is for both of you not just your W use the time to your advantage. GAL or try some 180's.
Why are you letting her tell YOU when YOU should leave?
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
". when I go im going to read the lrt and do that"
And who told you you're at the LRT when you haven't even read the book? Stop skipping around to the parts that you THINK apply to you and actually read the WHOLE thing. I don't know how much clearer anyone can be with you on this. The reason why you keep messing up is because you have NO PATIENCE. With you it's an all or nothing approach that keeps getting you in trouble.
I would have thought this is the point I should go on the LRT as we are now on trial seperation.. I really want some advice wether I should leave today or leave when she tells me to.
Unfortunately, what you think has got you in trouble more often than not. I've been separated from my wife for seven months, we're both under the same room (separate bedrooms) and I've yet to go LRT.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
