Wife is Continuing Affair-When do I Start LRT III

[PeterV2]

Dev;
I have a feeling that this email from her is a turning point.
I would respond in writing. That way you can put forth your points and she can read and reread them. Doing it in person is way too difficult. Image if instead of sending you that email she had just said all of this in person. It would have been too much for you to take in, analyse and respond to appropriately. By responding to her email in writing it allows you to put forth a very carefully considered and thoughtful approach and she deserves such a response after having gone through all the self-work and writing that she did for you.
Take what Wonka has said as a starting point (kudos to Wonka for that wonderful analysis!) and elaborate. Proofread your work and post it here for comment before sending it to her. This is a golden opportunity to set the record straight on many deep issues and to offer a path to a better M for you two.
Good luck - you've definitely got your work cut out for you.

(Seems my W has a lot of those same issues: feels she lost her identity, she just wants to find herself, to just be. To be accepted for her personhood. But she claims she gave up her identity to please me. I can sort of see how this can happen and I never would have asked for her to do that, but she made that choice and now is resentful of the consequences and blaming me.)