Wanna. Not gonna. Been down this path before - just feels a little different. It could just as easily evaporate in seconds into the wind. Complicated - but I think maybe, maybe MAAAYBE some realities about life etc. are sinking in - probably going to take more time. I am not betting my liver on it - but I have a small, small, small cinder of hope. If it goes out, I just go back to my life again. But the winds are blowing for sure.....we actually even had breakfast together after church this Sunday - first time since she left for a second time a year ago. We didn't even attend the service...we sat in the courtyard and talked about things for an hour. LOTS more ground to gain, it's delicate and could implode at any second - but I can handle it if it does.
Still seems to have the unyielding fears that I am still the same person. It almost makes me laugh....my friends have seen the change, my family has...even you guys who don't know me from a hole in the ground have seen it. Her? Not so much...and even the SLIGHTEST indication that I have not changed forces her to say "I have a hard time believing you are a new person because you......". At any rate....keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
