Hurt and Confussed

[oad]

thank you T-boned...you've been one heck of support...hugs to you as well.

I just got back from dropping the kids off, wife asked if I wanted a beer in the back patio where we used to talk. I said yes and she started talking to me about her job and how stressed she is. I just listened. She did test me a little by making a comment that it must be nice for me to be going out to friends houses, that she is always stuck at home with the girls.(wich is not true at all, I get them like 3 to 4 x a week). I just listened didn't say a word (normally I would have told her that I do have the kids a lot and we probably would have fought). She then asked how my job was going, I couldn't lie to her so I told her I got laid off and that I had about 3 months of income saved. She then seemed very fidgety and looked like she was raging inside or about to cry, not sure which one. So I told her are you ok? you can talk to me....she then said that she has so much stress and financially she is doing horrible but then she threw in that she is fine and she can do this. Everything was very calm..no fights. She seemed conftrable at times then kind of awkward at others.

I figured if I wait until she stops fighting we will never have another good convo again. So I decided to change the way I approach things and just listen to her and talk calmly. I read it in the book. Stop doing what doesn't work. lets see what the next time brings.