Oh definitely Claire. But I will never feel sorry for them. I do pity them. Seeing her makes me see that it can't possibly work out and he clearly is filling a void to avoid working on his own issues. She is a bandaid. I actually wasn't even sad seeing her. I was angry yes but also thought - how pathetic.
Her friends and family condone it by hanging out with them. It reinforces what they're doing. However, I will continue to be a better me and truly enjoy my boys everyday. You can't get back yesterday. H sent me a text within 5 minutes of me walking away from her asking if there is basketball practice tonight. UGH I am not your mother. I've told you the schedule quit asking me!
Good for you for continuing to hold your head high and not reacting.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Oh definitely Claire. But I will never feel sorry for them. I do pity them. Seeing her makes me see that it can't possibly work out and he clearly is filling a void to avoid working on his own issues. She is a bandaid. I actually wasn't even sad seeing her. I was angry yes but also thought - how pathetic.
I will tell you this from a guy who has used a relationship with another woman to get over a relationship I was in. I think it may apply because of your comment that your H is using her as a bandaid. In my case, I would go back to an ex, of if none were around, I would typically find one with flaws I knew I could not live with long term. The idea being that it would prevent me from becoming attached emotionally and allow me to walk away when I was ready. I am not saying that with any pride in my actions. It was wrong and unfair. I just wanted to give you a possible insight as to what your H motives might be with his OW. He must know the relationship will not endure, and perhaps that is WHY he chose her. I know I am not alone with my past actions because in my circle of guy friends we all did this. Keep in mind it was in our 20's, so this was 10-20 years ago for me. But even as 25 pointed out in my own thread, I have a tendency to regress to that line of thinking.
Best of luck to you
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
The only issue is that it is his boss's daughter. I don't think he would pick her as a temporary means because it would affect his job. He also lives with them so it would affect that as well. He is calling them mom and dad and they call him their son. It is all very strange. But I do think she is a bandaid to our/his problems. I don't believe he personally sees it that way. But I just mean she is a temporary fix that allows him to think this is all on me and that there's nothing wrong with him. He's the one that's already in a relationship not me - and like he said you'll never find anyone like me. I am not saying he's right, I'm right or anything it's just whay I think so take that with a grain of salt lol
I don't think he would pick her as a temporary means because it would affect his job. He also lives with them so it would affect that as well.
Never underestimate what a drowning guy will latch onto to save himself
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
I went through our phone bill and the texting started in November but really was nonstop all of January up until the day he left. After he left there isn't one text between them. But he also did get a new phone
and like he said you'll never find anyone like me.
extreme insecurity from a guy. what he means is don't even try because I want you to be available to me in the future
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Ya he said the only reason you want to fix our marriage is because you know you'll never find anyone like me , nobody will treat you like I did, and you know nobody will put up with how you make people feel like they aren't good enough.
When he said that back in March I just said I'm sorry i made you feel that way. He never responded
"No one will humiliate you like I do. No other man will leave you and his kids for an 18 year old like I will. No other man will badmouth you and spread lies on Facebook like I do."
