Roller coaster and then some

[daring]

FY- what a whirlwind!! I agree that it's best to keep family out of it. His sisters even complained to me that I hadn't talked to them about any if it and I said he's just having a tough time and I'm trying to be supportive.
I think the wedding atmosphere just freaked everyone out. He did thank me for trying to help his sisters handle everything. I also told him that I'm so sorry this happened and I didn't bring anything up to them ( didn't say it in a defensive way- just a by the way I want you to know this).
I felt really, really bad for him. I could empathize as when he was in his angry state a few years back he was constantly on me about everything and I felt like a complete failure. I know it's an awful place to be.

I texted him this morning just to say I was sending positive thoughts and hope his conference goes well. Not expecting anything back, just want to give him some support. Hopefully it's not seen as a pursuing act but either way I felt it was something I wanted to do.

As far as people for me to talk with- not so much. My two closest friends are the office manager and nurse that started the practice with me. My nurse is a great listener and I talk to her some but she is going through some things with her kids so I don't want to overburden her. My office manager unfortunately thinks I'm being a doormat and is irritated by everything so I try not to tell her much. Too much negativity from her about it all.
MIL I only talk to about helping H if I think he needs it ( like when he was suicidal). Otherwise no details.
I've pretty much been the person everyone else goes to when they have problems as I am the " psychological understanding one". Even my partners call me the gynechiatrist as I am the one who deals with my patients emotional as well as medical issues in detail. Really H was my best friend and who I would bounce things off of. I also have a bad habit of trying to handle things on my own and not ask for help. I do have an IC though who I see weekly and she is great.
Soooo maybe I need to reach out more to my own sisters ....I am also going on a cruise with my nurse in Aug- can't wait!!

Will work on taking care of myself and the kids this week. My daughter made the comment that Daddy didn't really hang out with us on this vacation like usual. They are having a hard time I know.