Sorry you are having a bad day. I am not sure your efforts are backfiring. Your H is still a WAS which means there is no logic or reason behind what he is doing, only emotion. You are on the right track in that your H has noticed you being happy. Give him time to see who he fell in love with BEFORE the OW.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16