FINALLY SURFACING

[Fartiltre]

Weekend has been so great.
Pikefishing with a friend and children Saturday. Barbecue and football at home Sunday with two other friends and their children.
It has been fantastic and that actually makes it even harder to set of the Ds today. I won’t see them for two weeks now.

I had a short talk with a dear friend, whom I haven’t seen for months, yesterday. He started out by telling how fit and good I look. Then asked how I was and then told me that this D was an example of how to do it, if it had to be done. I got a lot of sincere compliments once again. (He knows W but doesn’t see her very often)
Every time this happens I get even more motivated to continue this crusade of applying changes and new ways to myself. I also realize that I am not even close to being where I want.

I also took some smoke about women and dating from these two guys. Only well-meant and mostly for fun but at the same time I mindread they are wondering why I am not active on the market. I tell them the truth “I simply don’t have the time and if I had I still don’t feel like it.”

This morning at D7s school the teacher stopped me. She had a talk with D7 last Friday as agreed. D7 expresses that she is sad, that she misses and the stuff I already know, but she also specifically asked the teacher to tell me that she would like to spend an equal amount of time at Ws and my place.
That made me happy (as a dad) and sad (for D7s hurt).

Afterwards I dropped of Ds bags at W. SIL was there. I got a major hug from her and we talked shortly. Then W came into the room, hugged me and we talked a little.
I told her shortly about what the teacher had told me and that the teacher had sent me a message. W seemed a little surprised since she hadn’t received it. (I totally get this feeling I believe this left her with, since I have experienced feeling left out of communication regarding the Ds several times) I told W I would forward the message when I got home and did so.
The message from the teacher was short and only stated that D7 would like to spend equal time with me and W. (This was the original agreement but W changed it before she moved out and right now we are at 9/5).

3 hours later I receive an answer from W:

Hey you
I am positive, but I need to think – you know that feeling ;-)

(I love that little remark about me thinking about my decisions )
I see some possible issues rising here. First of all I am interested in knowing Ws POV and second if she actually accepts D7 request my time issues will get bigger. I have arranged my own and the children’s life around the current schedule and, all though I would like nothing more than having Ds here more of the time, it will demand changes including a possible move from countryside to city.

I will leave these thoughts until W explains her stand on these matters. I have learned that many of the problems I face tends to solve them self without me doing anything at all. In fact; me doing nothing is often at better solution than me acting….and the worrying and trying to avoid problems often expands them tremendously.
If W doesn’t initiate a convo I will do so I a week or two.