Just had another talk where W says I am setting the family up for failure because the kids want us both to come in and say goodnight.
W says that I am in denial about the relationship and my feelings.
W brings up the denial she says my family has with what went on growing up - I told W when dating her how my dad was mentally and physically abusive to us and my mom. I don't think there is denial but forgiveness from myself and siblings. The only denial is from my parents that it was bad.
W says she is sad and hurting all the time and how this is a great weight on her. W says that I must be feeling the same way. W asks how I can live like this, being unhappy all the time. I responded it must hurt for you. W says that the hurt and sadness is all she thinks about and it is affecting her work and happiness. W says I cannot give her what she needs and she gets it from friends. She wants me to write down what I think W needs from me.
Is this a set-up? Should I write down what her emotionally needs are? All I know are the basic needs support, love, listening (validation), comfort, compliments, etc. This request feels dangerous.
I really think she wants me to end this M. I will not be the bad guy and party to the destruction of the family. I still love her, must remember PMA and "allow what is"
