Roller coaster and then some

[daring]

Well this has certainly been a crazy week!

I met goal number 1, I did not cry at the wedding! Yay me! However, the happenings of the evening were beyond anything I would have expected.

As a preface, out if respect for H I have not discussed out situation with any of his siblings even though I am close to all of them. I let him tell them about what was going on. I have talked to his mom once I made sure he was ok with it.
So last night at reception the eldest of the two sisters starts crying as she hugs me saying I hate that all of this is going on, you're my sister I don't want to lose you. I reassured her I would always be family and visit no matter what happens with H.
Then the sister that got married starts doing the same as we are leaving the reception. Her upset was amplified a bit as she had been drinking and she was just balling and hugging me. Several people went back to the newlywed a house to hang out and she asked me to go. When we got there she was still crying and asking why is this happening, what's wrong with him etc... I didn't say much related to him other than I think he's in MLC and I will always love him and I love all of them too and will still be around for them.
Then H comes over ( after taking home one of the highly drunk sisters of the groom) and she starts talking to him about our situation and can't you just figure it out etc. Wants to understand what the problem is so she doesn't repeat it in her own new marriage ( he couldn't really answer) then brings up things about how their dad abandoned them and stepdad was the only father she really knew and she knows that makes H mad b/c he was the oldest and the father figure etc.
Then says to him she doesn't like how close he had become with her new H's two sisters and she's worried about how that impacts the whole situation with he and I. She thinks it's inappropriate and that one of them will try to take advantage of him. ( this part is interesting to me as those are two of the friendships I had been particularly worried about him keeping boundaries in but I never mentioned it to his sister- she noticed on her own).

On drive back to hotel H was really in a bad place, said he felt like he's failed everyone and they all hate him and he has to go back from vacation to a job he hates.
Said he got sucked into helping the sister's of new husband of his sister and that he just isn't going to interact with them anymore ( interesting that he was able to recognize the toxicity there) and he also assured me there was nothing going on with them. I said ok.
Then he said he hadn't even touched on everything going on with us, add that all together and it's way more than he can handle and he realizes he often underestimates all he is trying to deal with.
I really felt bad for him- I tried to offer comfort and a reminder that his sisters, like us, have abandonment fears and just need reassurance. He was really beating himself up.

He didn't sleep all night. This morning he told me thank you for supporting him and he's sorry he's out of his mind. Also said he wanted to crawl into a hole.
He had to fly out for business trip and myself and kids returned home.
I talked to him briefly on phone tonight and he sounded back to his distant, manage stuff with the kids in a stern manner behavior.

I really hope all if this doesn't set him back. It was awesome to be supported by his family ( even my MIL said he was being an a$$) but I don't want his emotions so beaten down that his progress is stunted.

I am emotionally exhausted! Probably good he is traveling this week as I get a break from interaction!