So great to hear from all of you! I've missed my friends here! But thanks to the friends and valuable lessons I've learned through support and just reading, I've been so much more stronger and confident! Im so glad I've dropped by to see how things are going with everyone!
Exquisite, Im glad you will be going back into counseling. And I understand how the feelings of betrayal keep trickling on in, DON'T THEY? And on so many different levels they come trickling in. Add nausea-um... again! Lol. Perhaps we feel sick because this goes against everything we hold as a core value in our hearts and souls.
Job, what a sharp memory you have! And yes you are right on the money there gal! Oldest daughter hasn't had the best relationship with EX since this all started. I've seen such a change for the better in her since she stood her ground and broke free of her father ON HER OWN. She called BS on him. And he got mad and treated her like a bratt for it, and is with holding something she holds near and dear to her heart and that's her bow and arrow he got her for her birthday last summer. Oldest daughter informed him she will not argue with him and if he's keeping it, he's keeping it. I told her, we will get her a new one!
You're right about the X MIL... I won't be talking to her about this issue anymore. Regardless of my resentment towards XH, the issues between he and D14 are just that! Their issues. Unless the Sh*t hit's the fan, I will stay out of it, but support my daughter anyway I can if she needs me too. XH stomped a hole and lit a match in the middle of that bridge he had started to build back up a little. It's no my fault he pulled that crap.
I found that actually freaking odd of XMIL to do what she did. In fact she tried to tell me the reason OW may not be speaking to the kids was because she told her to stay away from her grand kids at first 3 years ago! So now she's making excuses for the OW she couldn't stand and the son she was disgusted by? I swear Im in the twillight zone!LOl
I know X MIL...I think money is involved. I think XH finally started taking care of his mom financially, like he should've been all along, and now she'll be anyone's dog that needs run with in exchange for money. I've known this woman for 24 years. Money really gets her tail wagging, no matter how crooked the person is that gives it to her.
To be honest, it just dawned on me within the last 2 days that Im sure OW is THRILLED that D14 had made her departure. She had made bad remarks about D14 to some people and it got back to D14. Infact I figure as D11 ages, there may be some more drama to take place between them, and then D11 very well may decide not to see him anymore. Then OW has exactly what she wanted. Alienated the wife, alienated the kids, and XH all to herself. And by then she will probably divorce him and try to get all the money she can, and start all over with someone else!
Job, I have strongly felt that XH has NPD for a very long time now. It fits him to the T. It just started coming into consistent play 3 years before our final split, then he went total monster NPD during divorce, after divorce, and still periodically. I suspect when he's extra nice to me, he's needing narcissistic supply cause OW doesn't sound like she pays any attention to him at all! Im telling you what the girls have told me about those two, just makes me chuckle that they're married! They sure don't sound like a married couple! Total weirdness.
Lois, Thank you so much for your input. I never stopped to think that this horrible ordeal could really help my children to have better relationships in their adult life! And now that I think about it, this whole ordeal has helped all 3 of us grown as women! All three of us value honesty,communication, and respect and that's how we roll in this little family!
Wow, I really needed that Lois! It's an insight I never really thought of! I really am working with them on self respect, and respect of others as well. Knowing one's self and loving ones self I really am beginning to see is the best truth their is. Because when you know who you are in your heart and soul and love you for who you are, you won't ever settle for someone that treats you less that what you truly are! A REMARKABLE PERSON.
THANK YOU TO ALL YOU REMARKABLE, FABULOUS WOMEN!!!
