I was married to a bad bad man. He cheated on me several times (which I didn't know about until much later) I was the OW in his marriage (which I also did not know about until I divorced him)
I loved him...or rather...who he said he was. I was in love with who he said he was and who I wanted him to be
The actual toad he is, was much different than the person I thought he was.
I believed I deserved it that I must suck hardcore
he even tried to move his OW into our house with us (telling me she was a battered woman...well...girl, she was so young)
and when his world came crashing down and mine did not, boy did he try calling me back and sweet talking me
but
I had worked on me and I knew I was worth so much more I was strong beautiful smart courageous caring loving and so far above the person I was that "needed" him
I was whole, all on my own
I felt like a failure in the beginning...He was my 2nd marriage, I felt like he defined masculinity to me and he was so unwilling to work on things with me...he called me ugly and stupid and old (he was older, by the way) He preyed on all my insecurities
And...when he called me, after a year and was saying how wrong he was and how he had made a mistake and how he wanted me back and how he would do anything...that I was his soul mate and completed him...I only hesitated for a second
long enough for me to inhale and exhale before I told him absolutely not and to lose my number
I didn't engage in any asking why...why he cheated, why he lied to everyone and told them I was cheating on him, why he lied about everything...
Because his whys had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him
he doesn't cheat because of you he cheats because of him
and if he lies to you about cheating, what makes you think he would really go to counseling for her? He is a liar
You need to remember that you are more than his lies...you are more than that...what would you say to your daughter if she came to you in the same situation? What would you say to your sons? What kind of men do you want them to be?
