There will come a day when little Lillian will need you to reach her how Mamabear protects herself and her cubs. You may as well learn to start now.
Starsky
YES...and from a legal perspective, what advantages are there to staying with him? If adultery is a ground for divorce in your state, then taking him back means 'condonation" and you'd have to catch him again cheating to use it. Not that you should use that but I DO believe in knowing your legal rights.
For now I would not forget the text messages about your bad mothering, and how you trapped HIM with the pregnancy, etc.
Twin, I preach forgiveness a lot around here. I don't know how to stay married without each partner doing a lot of it. And in time, there would be some "amnesia" exercises for you two to really reconcile.
But there are times when too much water has gone under the bridge and then, I'm not saying you cannot or must not forgive...but I DO SAY
that a heck of a lot of work on his end, needs to be done and over enough time, --- before I'd THINK of reconciling.
For now, accept all the child care help you can get from him, and all the child support too. That belongs to the kids...
but also give yourself 5 MINUTES to think about the types of things you would really need from him to earn back the trust, and how long that effort would take,
Now, can you honestly see him even trying to do those^^? Won't he take the path of least resistance?
I think he has a pattern that shows he prefers starting fresh every time a relationship takes work. And ALL relationships take work.
Your h reminds me of someone who prefers getting a new car, instead of learning how to change the spark plugs and oil in the car he was driving...and never learning what the blinking red lights mean...
Just my .02
Twin, Big hugs to you, and your babies.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
