Thanks Wonka, You're right about the "What if's" and the stable income source of income. All of got for now is some breathing room, nothing more.
What made my W want so badly to be "independent" is just something I'll never understand. I get it's what her father wanted her to do, needed her to for him to "respect" her, accept her in his life. Why that is, I really don't know. Why is it that her being a wife and mother first was so unacceptable to him? I get that to him his family meant nothing once he left them. Does it make him feel justified in the way he has acted his whole life? Relieve his guilt for abandoning her since she was willing to do the same? Why is it that my wife so fully bought into what he has been wanting from her? Is her need for his love and acceptance so strong in her that she is willing to do whatever she needs to have it? How did her values change so dramatically from what they had been before he came back into her life? All questions that haunt me and I may never know the answers.
What will my D's take from all this? Will they see what their mom is doing and bring the damage into their own future relationships? Will my W bring new people into my D's lives that have similar values like she has now? Will I be able to keep them on the right path in life alone, knowing I can't count on my W to teach them the values that they will need to be good, healthy women in their own lives?
Deep questions that I now must face and learn how to keep them safe and stable when I see their mother so unstable and confused. My life has changed so fast and so has theirs. It's up to me to make certain that those changes make me a better, stronger person, not let them pull me down or make me bitter. I must keep on moving forward and not look back on what was or could have been. Only on what will be in the reality I now find myself in.
I have weathered other set backs in my life. I have always been able to dig out and move forward. This may be the biggest set back I've ever faced but one I have to get past, sooner rather then later.
