Thx Wonka! Awesome advice and feedback. Especially about the letter. I can tell you for certain that when I get preachy with H it turns him 100% off. I will continue to work on it to help get my head in the right place.

I think you're right on the money that we're both insecure right now. Here's where it's so important that I focus on myself, GAL and continue to move forward as if H and I will be separated for a while. I find when there are positive signs I start getting my hopes way up and start putting my life on hold, expecting he'll be back any minute. I need to get myself back to reality and keep making plans assuming he will continue to be gone. It's still a struggle but I like to think I'm making improvements here, at least I recognized this within just a day or two this time :-)

And funny but now all of a sudden H is txting me again, lots of cute smiley's and chitchat again. It's like he *knows* precisely when I'm getting my chit together and back he comes..

M: 42
H: 43
M: 8 years
S7 and D4
H has D19 and S25 from previous M
Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA
1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail
2nd separation: 5/1/14