Are you really comfortable making demands anyway? Demands have implied ultimatums: "Do this ... or ELSE."
Would you have what it takes to carry out the "or else"?
Because let's face it: you can make all the demands you want. And he can say no. Anddddd ... you're allowing him to live with you while - right in front of your face - he is trying to work things out with the woman with whom he cheated on you ... while you were carrying his child.
Not trying to be harsh, but he wants to slow down on the divorce because he clearly can't be alone. He overlaps all his relationships. He's telling you that you are Plan B. You know, in case OW doesn't work out.
You deserve better. Treat yourself better than he's treating you.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014