Thinking about my core dealbreakers as Starsky suggested and one I am struggling with. I realize that one of my core values is that M is for life, for better or worse, in good times and in bad. We are family and therefore you stick together and work it out no matter what. The thing that probably upsets me the most with this whole sitch is not necessarily that H had an A but his ongoing ambivalence around whether he wants to do the work to fix the M. He will state he wants to stay together but then his actions consistently fall short. Which obviously says something about his true level of commitment. Given this is such a core value for me I wonder how I can ever be happy in a M with someone who does not seem to have the same value around the M commitment? I don't think I can.
I don't want to be with someone who has the attitude of "we'll see how it goes" I want to be with someone who thinks "M is for life, we do whatever it takes to work it out" I truly believe with this attitude it WILL work but with the "we'll see" attitude we're setting ourselves up for failure. Can I realistically have a dealbreaker around what I feel *his* attitude ought to be? Is that controlling?
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
