Phoenix slowly rising

[25yearsmlc]

Tboned, I still say the mantra, I still have little bouts of anger once in awhile. My mother is very ill, I was just thinking last night how that effer left me and I was there for him for every horrible thing that happened to him during our marriage and now that I have had bad things happen he's nowhere in sight. Feeling sorry for myself, I wasn't part of the decision to divorce either, then I think - no, i'm not going to play victim here.

I LOVE READING THIS^^ PROCESS^^^!!! You found yourself falling into the self pitying "victim" pit, and then, you STOPPED yourself!

That's what I call COURAGEOUS WORK! BRAVO! (Clap clap clap!)


He probably has his own problems now(obviously) and my problems/worries are now my own, so my only choice is to deal with them.

Exactly....and "radically simple". B/c it's seem obvious to those not in the situation, that you must make the only healthy choice, ie., deal with what is...so simple and yet some refuse. I also like how you are showing empathy for your spouse too, instead of just harping on them. Again, well done.

I believe once you commit to taking charge of your life (which we were all supposed to do, this whole time!), it absolutely gets better.

How can it not improve, when WE take charge of our lives, and stop staring at someone else to rule us?


I then say the mantra and move on to other thoughts. It simply is what it is. He's gone. We're divorced, have to keep on living. I do remind myself that I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else.

Amen to the statements^^^ and methods used, to IMPLEMENT some detachment and PMA!

I know it's hard to get unstuck. One minute you think you're doing alright and then you have a bad minute that reminds you of the reality. Stay in the present, focus on you and your needs. You have complete control over that.I made a list of my blessings. I made a list of what I wanted out of life (inner peace!!) I made a list of things I like to do - not what WE liked to do, but just things I've discovered that I like to do now that I'm alone. That was a change for me,

^^Smart specific ways to create a more fulfilling life. WELL DONE...I can't wait to see what life has in store for you around the corner if you keep this PMA up...


I was all about sharing likes, now I've been able to break that co-dependency I think and focus on becoming an individual, a whole person. It's a process.

APPLAUSE APPLAUSE^^^!!!!!


You'll get there. We're growing and learning along the way and it will take time, but what we do with that time is key. I finally started my refi on the house... that's the last thing to do and he'll be out of my life, I do hope he's happy although somehow I doubt it.

You're a good woman with a future that I KNOW will have laughter and love in it. Good job, on all counts...seriously.

I hope you'll keep posting, regardless of what happens to your h...YOUR GROWTH is very impressive and

Whenever I've seen someone do the kind of work you are doing, & showing the discipline and self awareness you're showing,

I've always, also seen them become a better, HAPPIER person, in a matter of time. So yeah, it doesn't just "happen".

Well done.