Wow, thanks everyone. I needed to hear this right now. I took my D14 to go see her friend in a play. This was the girl who played the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz play that my D was in at the end of school this year. They are going to go out to dinner after and the mom that's taking them invited me to meet them and I'm going to do that. My oldest D19 is away at a music festival so I won't be able to do anything special for her B-day anyway. I will when she gets home as we have always gone, as a family, to the same restaurant but I guess this year her mom won't be there.
Something new has come up and I really need some input. My W just texted me that the last of her grandmother's stuff has to be moved and asked me if I would drive a u-haul truck from her GM's old place to her mom's. So, she is leaving and want's to be on her own but still wants me to do H stuff for her? I guess I can look at it as doing something for her mother and GM, not her. Anyone have any thoughts on whether I should drive a u-haul with my W and MIL as a favor for her tomorrow? My first thought was why not? But I am starting to think doing what I THINK is the right thing is probably the wrong thing! Thanks!
If your gut tells you to do it and you can do it knowing it will not mean anything to your W as it relates to a R with you, and this will not bother you, then go ahead and help out.
IF this will set you back with your feelings and anger then DO NOT help out.
If you feel like she is using you, then don't help out.
I think you should with no strings attached.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Personally I wouldn't do it. They aren't thinking straight but that is no reason for us not to.
I see it as enabling her in her choices. If she wants to do this she can learn to drive a truck or find someone to do it for her. But ultimately it is your decision.
I agree w/Bea. She needs to grow up and figure things out for herself. BTW, who is paying for the U-Haul? Most of them are automatic, so there shouldn't be a problem w/driving it. She can also rent the furniture rollers, as well as hand truck to assist in moving the items to the truck.
Like Bea mentioned, it's ultimately your decision, but I don't see where this is going to help you mentally and emotionally because she's been pushing your buttons quite a bit. It's one thing if you assist her in moving things from your current residence, but another from her grandmother's home.
Just my two cents...allow her to figure this one out w/o your help.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Remember the Seinfeld episode where George did everything opposite from what he normally would have done... and things started going great for him? That should be you. Opposite Matt.
She's leaving you and running full speed towards D. Why would you help her with that? She has to start feeling some consequences for her actions. Helping her is only shielding her from the inevitable consequences.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Hi everyone. Tuns out my W doesn't need the U-haul. She said that they were able to get the stuff without one. Can't imagine how you could "think" you would need a big truck then not. Maybe she just wanted to see my reaction? Maybe she wanted to use it to move the big stuff from our home as well. Up until now she has borrowed a fiends truck. But not to move stuff from here. At one point she will need to do something. She can't fit the stuff she wants in her car. Not sure how she plans on getting it or when. Should be interesting. I wonder if she will ask for my help?
If she does, I was going to go ahead just to show her I'm getting on with my life, that accept that it is going to happen and that I am fine. Not so sure now. Now I think she should do it herself. My D14 couldn't find the ice cream scoop tonight. Seems my W took that and all the kitchen stuff like mesuring spoons! This from a woman who hasn't cooked a meal in 3 years! Why does she think she can just take anything she wants and not even bother to tell me?
She's the one with the money. She should be buying new stuff, not me. I need to start cooking for my kids now. She only bakes for her friends at work. Oh, well. She is in only care about her mode. I'm going to just have to deal with it and see how far she takes it. Had fun at dinner with my D14. She told her friends her mom is moving and the mom asked what was up. This was the first of the parents of D14's friends I had to tell about my sitch. I told her my W was moving and it's not what I wanted but there was nothing I could do. She was bound and determined to go and won't slow down. The mom was nice and said she was sorry to hear about it but that was all. My D14 seemed fine telling her friends. Not upset or anything. Maybe she will get through this better than me!
Probably going to need a new thread. May be the last post before.... W came home bragging about how she hooked up a gas water heater "all by myself, and I did a good job". Well, bully for you! She is now being all upbeat and saying she is taking our dog tomorrow to get used to the place and once she is done cleaning, she and I can go thru our cabinets and divide everything. All nicey nice. She's all excited and acting like I should be so very happy for her, too.
I'm not happy for her. I think she is making everyone around her pay for her own insanity. She knows I'm unhappy that she refused to even go to MC and wouldn't make any real effort after B-day. That is what makes me the most upset about the whole thing. Her not even caring to try. This attitude that I should just be fine with it all. Give her what she wants and be happy for her is driving me nuts inside. I'm trying not to show any thing but upbeat as well but it's an act. Should I just continue to act like I will cooperate and act like I'm fine? This seems to be the DB thing to do, right?
I'll be starting thread number 6 now. Thanks everyone!
MC would have been a waste with your wife. People in MLC are incapable of *working* on the marriage. It would more than likely have turned into a display of absurdity.
You can do this:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
