But don't you think it would just be considerate if she let's me know a little?
Why should she???? I don t run next door to tell my neighbor when I'm leaving, where I'm going or what time I'll be back. You are just a neighbor living on another floor of the building.
This makes twice since posting your thread you have gone to her seeking what she is not ready to give you. This time you asked her to trust you? Why, have you been unfaithful, abusive, or something we don't know about? I think you tried another gimmick that many LBH'S have tried and saw it fail. Bargining with the WAW who is in A.
I think you really wanted her to tell you she could be trusted, but she didn't. She doesn't care if you trust her or not! You're a neighbor to her. And right now you are the enemy in her eyes. Can you understand that? She may hate your guts, IDK, but she feels no commitment to pledge anything to you at this time. You can't trust her when she is doing nothing to prove otherwise.
Why do you continue to expect her to respond as though she had the same feeling that you do? You keep pressuring her for an expected response. You don't get the one you wanted.....and then you are even more upset. I'm trying to tell you it doesn't work? It won't work next month, either.
She sees zero attractiveness in you, okay? It's normal (for a WAW) to feel what she's feeling. She is wayward! It would not be normal for a loving, faithful, woman who is sexually attracted to her H and wanting to work on her M. She doesn't. A lot will depend upon what she chooses from her own free will. Unfortunately, her emotions will probably lead over her will. But you CANNOT force her to feel what she doesn't feel.
As far as I can tell by what you posted, she has not said anything to leave you with the impression she even considers ending the A or being in a M with you. And by the sound of it, I have to wonder if you weren't issuing some threats about OM's W.
The OM gave his word (whatever that's worth to ya) that the A would stop. Did she agree......or say nothing? They don't even know what is in store for them. Just wait till the craving hits. Those times your W came home in a really great mood? Have you figured it out yet?
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180 to me is like Mr. Nice Guy turning into Mr. Mean Guy or Mr. DGAS Guy. So not me. But I do agree the technique is valid.
Then you don't understand about the 180's. You want to stop feeling like a doormat? Then stop getting your tail in a kink when she decides to live like a person who is S from her H. Your pressuring techniques were rejected. What other techniques will you try, if not 180's?
You agree the 180 technique is valid, but say it's not for you. Okay, can you tell me how it makes you a mean guy? I would like to know, in case other newcomers have the same thoughts.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
