I can only imagine what it would be like to lost my mother and yet have her still on the planet. It would rock my world to the foundation at that age. I did lose my mom, but it was to cancer. A bit more final and not as bad (to me) as if she had lost her mind and rejected me and my family for her own gain.
We had a tragedy in our area a few weeks ago. A man drowned while saving a teenage girl who was caught in the undertow. He was long married and father of four. We have mutual friends and I found myself jealous as my friend described the widow clutching his t-shirt for days.
I was jealous because I didn't get that luxury. I didn't get to grieve my husband so openly in that way. I was jealous because my kids didn't get to honor their dad or feel the support of an entire community. My kids had to face the ugly truth about their dad as opposed to honoring him as a father and husband.
While those kids get to hear story after story about what a Great Dad this man was...my kids are reminded daily how their father rejects them and put himself before their needs.
I don't know the answer, but as a survivor of my own Dad's MLC...I know the hurt runs deep and will be with them forever. That requires a special kinda parenting for the parent left behind to clean up the mess...A lot of sensitivity and honoring of their feelings--the good, bad and the ugly.
Last edited by LoisB; 06/21/1404:29 PM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
