Oh boy, definitely feels like I have somehow screwed up.
. . .
This feels very much like NOT the right move and I'm very confused now. I know my H, he does not like rejection at all and I'm sure feels I am giving him very mixed signals...which I am. It feels kind of mean.
mdu, it seems to me like YOU are trying to pursue HIM and "win him back to the marriage" somehow. I can assure you, you have it precisely BACKWARDS.
IF you are being friendly/cordial (and I assume you are), and your husband is annoyed ALREADY, then he is nowhere NEAR the level of remorse, effort and self-awareness (of the immense pain he caused your family) necessary in order to successfully reconcile.
